User blog:YYYIsHere/Another Play

This is a play I put on for the Fortnite fundraiser.

Fox has Asthma:
Ichabod: Shh! We're hunting the dangerous snipe!

Fox in Socks: It has beady eyes, and makes a terrifying sound, like this: Caw-caw!

Arthur: And it's really hard to find because it blends in with the trees.

Izzy: Caw-caw! Caw-caw!

Buster: I hear it! I hear it! This way!

(D.W. still making snig calls)

(Arthur groans)

D.W. (as snig): Aroo.

Arthur: D.W., you're not camouflaged at all! It's supposed to be really hard to see you.

Buster: And the aroo has to be much scarier, like this: Aroo!

D.W.: OK, OK. Why do I always have to play the snig? Why can't one of them be the snig for a change? There, that should do it.

Arthur: Once again, we're hunting the dangerous snig.

Buster: It has big horns, and...

Arthur: They know that, Buster.

D.W. (as snig): Aroo!

Buster: I hear it!

Arthur: Let's go!

(D.W. roars)

Buster: Oh no!

Arthur: D.W., you're wearing... (screams)

Buster: Poison ivy!

D.W,: Poison ivy? I thought we were playing dangerous snig.

(Arthur screams)

D.W.: Buster, you can't keep changing games! Wait up!

---Buster's Breathless---

D.W,: It itches, Mommy, it itches!

Jane: This calamine lotion will help, honey.

D.W. Look at me, everyone will run away from me.

Arthur: No they won't, D.W.

D.W.: You and Buster did.

Jane: It'll go away, D.W. The important thing is not to scratch. Arthur will help distract you.

Arthur: I will?

Arthur: D.W., do you have to wear my hockey mask?

D.W.: If people can't see me, they won't run away.

Buster: Hi, Arthur! Hi, D.W.!

D.W.: I'm not D.W. I'm, uh, Otis.

Buster: Why do you have a hockey mask on, uh, Otis?

D.W.: I don't wanna get hit in the face with a puck. Got a problem with that?

Arthur: She's got poison ivy, and she thinks people will run away from her. I'm supposed to make her feel better.

Buster: Oh. Hey, Arthur, remember back in the fall when I had that really bad cough?

Arthur: What cough?

Buster: You know, the cough that started everything?

(Buster coughing)

Arthur: Check out these old joke books I found in the basement.

Buster: (coughing) Hey, what did the banana say to the hippo?

Arthur: What?

Buster: Nothing, bananas don't talk.

(Arthur and Buster laugh, then Buster starts coughing)

Arthur: Buster, are you OK?

Buster: Having...trouble...breathing.

Buster: I didn't know what was wrong with me. It felt like I was trying to breathe through a straw.

D.W.: So? I can breathe through a straw.

Buster: A straw that's clogged. Allow me to demonstrate. (drinks the milkshake) Ah. See? You can imagine how hard it is to breathe through a straw.

D.W.: No, I can't. I don't have any milkshake left!

Arthur: I remember that day. Your mom came and took you to the doctor's right away!

(Buster coughing)

Arthur: This is all my fault!

David: How can it be your fault?

Arthur: It's because I showed him those dirty books! That's what made him sick! I just know it!

Doctor: The dust and mold from the old joke book made it hard for you to breathe because you have asthma.

Buster: Asthma? Does it mean I can't read joke books anymore, or tell jokes, or laugh?

Doctor: Don't worry, Buster. If you take your medicine, you can do all the things you like.

Buster (narrating): It didn't seem like such a big deal...to me.

Arthur: If he gets even one little bit of dust up his nose, he can't breathe! It could happen anytime!

Francine: Is asthma contagious? Shh. Here he is.

Buster: Hi, guys.

Arthur: Hey, Buster. Here, let me take those for you. There you go, buddy, all clean now!

Buster: Uh... thanks.

Francine: Has anyone seen my penicillin...? I mean, pencil and pen.

Binky: So, Buster, if your asthma goes off do you get to leave class?

Buster: Uh, maybe—just to get my medicine.

Binky: Just to get your... medicine? I bet that could take a long time.

Buster: Uh... |I'll see you guys in the cafeteria. I have to go to the nurse's office.

Arthur: Why is he going there?

Francine: Maybe they're going to move him to a special school for sick kids.

Binky: He's probably faking it to go home early. See, I knew he was faking it. He's just playing the kazoo.

Arthur: That's his inhaler. He's taking medicine to help him breathe. (yelling, groaning)

Buster: What are you guys doing here?

Arthur: You found my glasses! We were just looking for them. Now we can all go to lunch. (inhaler sprays) Watch out, Buster! Here you go; it's safe now. (inhaler sprays) (gasping)

Binky: Can't breathe! Tell the nurse! I think I have plasma!

Buster: Don't you mean "asthma," Binky?

Binky: Oh, stupid word—too many consonants all smooshed together! (inhaler sprays)

Buster: Why did you do that? You had me out.

Francine: It... was an accident.

Buster: No, it wasn't; I saw you drop the ball on purpose.

Buster: What's wrong? Are you okay?

Francine: Stay away! Stay away! Oh! Gotcha!

Buster: Guess what? I'm cured!

Arthur: Really? Are you sure?

Buster: Sure I'm sure. Could I do this if I had asthma? (inhales deeply) Ahh... math.

Arthur: But that's not an old book.

Buster: Yeah, but it must have some dust in it—I've never opened it.

Binky: So you don't have to use that kazoo anymore?

Buster: Nope.

Francine: Well, I'm glad that's over. Now I don't have to worry about catching asthma.

(inhaler sprays)

Arthur: What is it, Buster?

Buster: Uh...

Francine: It's Boston cream pie today. |If we don't hurry, it'll all be gone.

Buster: Yeah, pie... let's get that pie!

(inhaler sprays)

(kids yelling)

BUSTER: Over here, I'm open! (panting) Hooray! (coughing) That's one...to nothing...(coughing)

Arthur: Are you okay, Buster? Maybe I should go get the nurse.

Buster: ('Gasping) I'm fine...just need a glass of water.... That's all...

(inhaler sprays)

Buster: (inhaling) Ahh... that's much better. |- | class="transcript"

Nurse: It's important to take your medicine. Why'd you skip your appointment?

Buster: I didn't want my friends to know about it. They've been treating me really weird.

Nurse: Do you think maybe they don't understand?

Buster: Maybe... maybe that's it. (inhaler sprays) (balloons squeaking against shirt)

George: And that's an example of static electricity. Thank you.

Buster: My science report is about asthma. But first I need you to imagine that you're very, very small. You're not imagining it! I really want you to imagine it. Very good. Now I want you all up my nose on the double! (inhaling deeply)

All: Whoa! (air whooshing, rumbling)

Buster: Watch your step. No flash photography.

Binky: I don't think I've ever been in anyone's lungs before.

George: Help, I'm stuck in some pie!

Buster: Oh, no! George went down the wrong way! He's in my stomach!

George: Yuck! Custard pie.

Buster: Stick with the group, George. You could get lost in here!

Francine: Is this where the asthma is? Is it a giant bug that'll attack us?

Buster: No, no, asthma is just a word for what happens to my lungs when I breathe in dust or mold, like this. See, the walls are getting smaller! This is when I usually start to cough! Hold on! (loud, deep coughs) (others screaming)

Arthur: That felt so real!

George: Ugh!

Buster: And asthma is not contagious. Any questions?

Binky: Are you trying to tell us something?

Buster: Yeah, I'm still the same old Buster. I just have asthma... like I have big ears.

Binky: "Same old Buster..." "Big ears." I'm going to ace this test! (class applauding)

Buster: Once they understood it it wasn't such a big deal anymore.

D.W.: Hey, I bet if someone's afraid of my poison ivy I should just explain it.

Buster: Hey, you're not Otis, you're D.W.!

D.W.: Sorry I had to fool you. (gasping)

Timmy: Look, Tommy! D.W.'s got the chicken poxes!

D.W.: No, I don't, it's just poison ivy. It's no big deal.

Tommy: Don't come any closer! We'll catch it!

D.W.: No, you won't. I'll tell l about it. Then you'll understand.

Tibbles: No!

D.W.: Come back here and let me make you smarter! I got it from a plant, and it'll be gone in a couple of days and the white stuff's called Calamine lotion. Hey, wait up, there's more!